All right, guys. THIS is a perfect example of why you should always tie the damsel's hands BEHIND her back!
copyright 2005 by Pat Powers
We've all had the experience of sitting and watching a movie or TV show, and things are moving along nicely in the way of developing a damsel in distress scene, and then you hear it. The line. The line that brings everything to a horrible, screeching halt. The line that leaves DiD fans groaning in misery. The line that means that there will be no DiD scene, or that if there will be one, it will be incredibly lame. Here are the top seven such lines, going from the least awful such line to the most awful.
7. "Please, let's not make this any more unpleasant than it has to be."
6. "Why take the girl? She'll just slow us down."
5. "Do you promise not to scream if I take that gag off?"
2. "Why bother tying her up -- she's not going anywhere -- are you, doll face?"
1. "Scream all you want -- no one will ever hear you."
All right, we intended to do the ten most hated lines, but frankly it was a stretch to come up with seven. For those of you who HAVE to have ten, here are three lines that really constitute stretching it.
8. "I have not bound you, my dear, because I know you are afraid of bowling balls, and THIS ROOM IS SURROUNDED BY BOWLING BALLS!"
9. "I really should gag you, and I intend to do so eventually, but first I want to talk to you at length about my plans to control the world, and if you were bound and gagged you wouldn't be able to manage the right facial expressions. Especially admiration, which is my favorite."
10. "What do you mean, we're all out of duct tape?