The Bizarre Cage

The bad guy does what bad guys do in hentai, while the heroine does what captured heroines do in hentai. His face doesn't really look like a question mark -- we've disguised it to avoid a spoiler.

Copyright 2005 by Pat Powers

Workers at an amusement park that looks a lot like Disney World (but is never called such) discover that someone has sabotaged the computer control program and the rides are going berserk in "The Bizarre Cage." The park's staff work frantically to restore order to the park and keep the customers from being hurt, meanwhile someone evil is kidnapping beautiful young park workers.

Eventually, several park workers twig to the fact that some of their members are being absconded with, and begin investigating while the park is still half berserk and half repaired. So some workers are at computer command and some are running around the park and some are writhing in chains, and some workers are running around looking for the workers who are writhing in chains and also rescuing park patrons when they can.

It turns out that the usual crazed guy is kidnapping beautiful young female park workers for just the sort of reasons you'd imagine in a hentai. Revenge. Lust. Opportunity. He chains each one up to overhead rafters so distant that the chains vanish from sight before they reach the rafters, in a full-suspension spreadeagle. Stark naked, of course.

Each episode in the series starts with one of the kidnapees in chains, crying "No, no, no!" while the bad guy fucks her senseless. (This is how almost any anime, movie and TV show should start if you ask me. Granted, no one does.) Then we get a "meanwhile, back at the ranch," scene of the park workers trying to get the computer back in order, keep the park attendees safe, and figure out where all the attractive female cow-orkers are going.

Park workers rescue attendees from a berserk ride but not before some of them wind up badly ... drawn.

Eventually, and by that we mean three episodes' worth of eventually, the plot resolves and there's a confrontation.

What this reminds me of most is a cheesy late 70s, early 80s TV movie: "Terror at Twelve Flags!" "Carnival of Death!" "Murder on the Midway!" If they made a live version it would star John Colecos or Malcolm McDowell as the bad guy. Any number of blow-dried helmet-headed guys could play the male lead -- how about Gil Gerrard, the guy who played Buck Rogers in the TV series? The kidnapees could be played by a roll call of 80s victim/heroines. How about Pamela Sue Martin, Pam Ferdyn, Heather Locklear, Heather Thomas, Debra Walley and Debra Winger?

All six actresses would of course rehearse extensively for their bondage scenes, wanting to be the one who writhes most nakedly and moans most enticingly ... oh hell, who am I kidding? ... if it were a cheesy 80s movie, it wouldn't have ANY bondage, and if it DID it wouldn't involve sex or nudity, AND it would be badly done. Very badly done indeed.

Fortunately, it's an adult anime, so it's full of sexual bondage and vanilla sex imagery, all of it quite explicit.

The characterizations are nothing remarkable, but I give it high marks for a strong plotline and an original setting. Anime tend very strongly toward medieval settings, hospitals (the ones where all the busty young nurses get naked a lot) and wealthy manors. Any variance from these overworked themes comes along as a welcome relief.

The characterization is feeble at best, very 80s TV movie stuff. The villain does stuff just because he's a villain. The male lead is a generic nice guy. The other park workers are nice folks, too, but lacking in individuality.

The sex scenes are imaginative in how they're staged, with the chains disappearing overhead and all, but are not rendered with the graphic power of the best hentai. It's more a standard in-and-out kinda thing.

The animation is a little weak -- the figures are modeled a little crudely, and the background art is somewhat plain, but I'll take a strong plot with weak animation over its opposite any day -- though of course I'd prefer both.