Fencer of Minerva

At Long Last, A Hit of Fresh Gor!

Welcome to Doria, a kingdom where anything can happen, including water that flows uphill. Actually, we figure that the animators created this image as a test -- if you'll buy their notions of hydrodynamics, you'll buy anything...

Copyright 2005 by Pat Powers

Does this sound familiar?

When Diana's father usurps the throne of Doria, a powerful kingdom in an unknown land, her playmate Sho is in for a rough time, as he's the prince of the land, and Diana's father's minions join them on the playground with the idea of making a shish kebob out of prince Sho.

You can obtain this video from amazon.com through this link at a fairly fair price.

Despite Diana's pleas, the minions attack Sho, who just can't believe they're planning to kill him (though the term "prepare to die!" accompanied by raised swords clued me in that something was up). He dodges, and the sword only slashes his face instead of splitting his skull. Sho finally gets the idea that he's an endangered species and high-tails it to the woods, until he reaches a cliff, and to evade his pursuers, plunges into one of those improbable waterfalls they have in Doria, to what everyone one in the audience knows is not his certain doom.

When next we meet Diana she's a princess unhappily awaiting an arranged marriage. Her father, the new king, wants to cement relations between Doria and Gupta*, a rival kingdom, which will assure peace between their two countries and also keep the plot trundling along.

*OK, I am not the one making these names up. I don't even know why they call it "Fencer of Minerva." There's no Minerva in this story! It should have been called "Princess of Doria" or better yet, "Princess of Daria." (Imagine Daria in a Gorean culture -- I figure it would be about 30 seconds before she'd find herself naked and tied spreadeagled with a great big gag in her mouth to stifle her sarcasm -- and her screams.

"Let's see how ironically you can scream, Daria!"

Diana, of course, runs away rather than marry, disguising herself as an overdressed man who wears a lot of stuff wrapped around his face and head and torso, so she can move undetected in the city. While making her way through the colorful bazaar that surrounds her castle, she encounters a commonplace spectacle that her high status has shielded her from until now -- a sex slave auction.

Slave auctions: definitely a great spectator sport.

You'll be happy to know that in Doria, as on Gor, slaves are auctioned naked. The first slave to be auctioned is an experienced sex slave who's having a great deal of fun, laughing and joking with the crowd of hot-eyed men who are bidding on her and generally having a great time, while making it clear that she's capable of showing any man who buys her a great time in bed. Naturally, she's quickly sold at a great price. The next slave to be auctioned is a virgin, and a timid, fearful one she is. When the auctioneer strips her of all her clothing for the bidders, she cowers and covers her body as best she can with her hands. She blushes crimson and acts extremely embarrassed as she's displayed, pretty extreme considering she's just a cartoon.

In Doria, as on Gor, whether a slave rides or is ridden, her position is pretty much the same.

Since she's fleeing from a forced marriage and all, Diana knows just how the slave girl feels (well, ,kinda how she feels) and her blood boils. Stealing a nearby man's horse-lizard, she gallops to the auctioneer's platform, seizes the slavegirl and gallops away with the poor naked thing slung over the front of her saddle (in true Gorean style!) while the slaver shouts and shakes his fist. (Has shouting and shaking your fist EVER worked for anybody?)

When next we see Diana, she and her new slave are taking a break beside a river outside of town. Their horse is taking a break, too, but he's a little too close to the river and thus he becomes an instant hors douevres when a school of carnivorous flying fishes zooms out of the water and devours him on the spot.

Diana and her slave Fina are clearly next on the menu, but when a flying fish launches at them to lunch on them, it's nailed by arrow. A group of nomadic horsemen have arrived just in time to save them from the airborne piranha.

Pointing out that they've saved Diana's and Fina's lives, they declare that Diana must give them her slave Fina in return for their assistance (Diana's still in drag so they think he's a guy with a real high voice).

Diana, who has already saved Fina from one group of big, nasty men, is furious, and declares her intent to fight them for Fina. But unfortunately, in the fencing process Fina's headgear comes unraveled and it's apparent to all that she's female. The nomads are pretty gleeful at that, and go after both of them.

Shortly thereafter, Diana is bonked on the head and Fina is captured.

Things just keep getting more Gorean...

When Diana comes to, she's in the tent of the nomad slave girls. You can tell they're slavegirls because they wear collars with a few links of chain dangling in a front. (They're definitely not Goth girls -- their makeup is all wrong and they're waaaay too cheerful and wholesome-looking to be Goths.) They also wear thongs (remember when a thong was something you wore on your feet -- now THOSE were perverted times!) and short little vests that cover up their nipples and nothing much else. And that's all they wear.

Diana isn't dressed like the slavegirls -- she's stark naked. What's more, her hands are tied behind her back. One of the slavegirls grabs Diana and forces her to watch Fina, who is also naked but isn't bound, and is being subjected to slave training. This appears to consist largely of being held by one of the slavegirls while she rubs Fina's breasts and genitals. Fina blushes deeply in embarrassment as the slavegirl works her naughty bits expertly, dexterously, and repeatedly.

A lot of moaning ensues. Soon Fina is begging her trainer not to stop -- apparently there's more to orgasms than just moaning and writhing and squinting.

"Dogpile on slave Diana!"

Diana is frightened by Fina's plight, but even more is in store for her. Her training consists of three slavegirls licking, kissing, fondling and rubbing against her all at once while she's still bound. In no time at all Diana is transported to Hentai orgasmland -- and what slavegirl wouldn't be? Hentai orgasms consist of much moaning, writhing and eye-squinting followed by an image of Diana naked and spreadeagled, soaring through space while rays of light shoot out from behind her in all directions. (So that's what a female orgasm is like -- my wife's been faking all along -- it's got nothing to do with strawberry daiquiris and pecan nut rolls!)

Later, we see Diana strung up naked on a rack, her hands tied above her head to the top of the rack, and her feet tied wide apart to its sides, while one of the men whips her. Seems they don't believe her story that she's the Dorian princess, and they're trying to get the truth out of her the hard way, or the fun way, depending on your point of view. Diana refuses to make up a more reasonable story, like that she's an escaped village idiot, so they keep at her.

A Gorean moment: Diana, naked and tied spreadeagled, yields as she is taken from behind by her fiancee.

Meanwhile, a mysterious lone lizard-horseman has appeared in camp. Who can he be? He asks for a place to bivouac for the night, but one of the camp rowdies is more inclined to insult him and pick fights with him. The lone lizard-horseman tries to warn the rowdy that he's on dangerous ground, but being an idiot rowdy with a sword, he ignores Sho ... er, the lone lizard-horseman ... and shortly thereafter the rowdy is a shish kebab.

A Gorean moment: By crackies, polite submission like this just doesn't happen in modern society with all these young female whippersnappers on the loose!

This leads the nomad leader to believe he has to attend to this new man, and HE picks a fight with the lone ... the hell with it, SHO, all right, it's Sho, because "Fencer" telegraphs plot developments just like Norman does. So the tribal leader, Jeffrey, fights Sho and gets his butt kicked pretty quickly, even though he has about 150 pounds on Sho and it looks like it's all muscle. Sho must be one of those strategic fighters. Yeah, stragetic.

A Gorean moment: Mass molestation of slavegirl serving wenches at a Gorean paga ta... er, Dorian inn.

Jeffrey's kinda disappointed when Sho doesn't kill him after beating his sword down, but he decides he likes Sho and swears the Oath of Heroes with him, a solemn vow in that it doesn't involve the consumption of whatever they call beer on Doria.

This makes Sho Jeffrey's brother, and a member of the tribe, and to celebrate they give Sho their new prize, Diana. (They keep Fina, apparently -- nothing is heard of her after this. Then again, the slave training apparently worked really well for Fina.)

Slave Diana yields in slave orgasm to her master Sho, and lemme tell ya, those high-pitched Japanese female voices sound like little steam whistles when they cut loose -- you need to ballgag 'em just to keep things down to an earsplittling shreik.

Slave Diana yields to Sho's mastery later that night so loudly that the whole camp hears her, and of course there's all those damned orgasm lights. (Apparently, the people of Doria don't know much about gags.)

Well, I could go on. But I'll just mention that in the Minerva stories, the slaves have many, many occasions to speak of how greatly they love being the slaves of their masters, and to refuse opportunities to be free women or even queens for the chance to be the slavegirl of the man they love. While true masters turn down fortunes just to be with the slavegirl they truly love. There's plenty of bondage and submission and nakedness, sex and sexual bondage, male domination and the occasional whipping, and you know, if I were a cartoon I would find it incredibly appealing. As things are, it's pretty damned good.

A Gorean moment: slave Diana, tied naked and spreadeagled to a bed and with a naked woman lying on top of her, explains to her master that being tied up while having sex has always been a fantasy of hers. Well, DUH!

"Minerva" contains just the right mix of heroic fantasy adventure, sexual bondage and romance to reproduce that Gorean feeling. Whoever made the film understood the appeal of the Gor novels very well indeed and has done an excellent job of translating their appeal into a new milieu -- far better than any English-speaking firm has done to date. (Vision Entertainment may change things when their Gor comics finally get going).

A Gorean moment: This formerly arrogant free woman, now reduced to slavegirl status, has just been sold for a dollar. Her new master is advised to make her keep that penny on her person at all times, to remind her of how cheaply she was sold, as a guard against arrogance.

If someone were to make a live action film with the same fidelity to the Gor novels as Minerva, it would undoubtedly be the best thing to come down the pike since "Story of O," perhaps the best thing ever, since the Gor novels translate visually a lot better than the introspective "O" ever did. Certainly, it would make clear the feebleness that characterizes the two live-action Gor movies that have been made to date.

The major problem with Fencer is the English-language dubbing. It's about as bad as anything I've ever heard in a hentai, and that's saying something. How bad is it? Well, on "The Daily Show" one of their regular features is "Great Moments In Punditry -- As Read By Children" in which the silliness and pettiness that often passes for political punditry on television is deliciously sent up by the artlessness of the kids' readings. The kids are sometimes young enough that they're doing good to be able to read the words at all, putting any inflection into the words is simply beyound them. And that's apparently the case with the people who dubbed Fencer of Minerva, too.

Go with the subtitles, where possible, and you'll be fine.

Dramatic points of view and innovative framing techniques are characteristic of anime. This one has a subtle meaning -- "The End."