Private Psycho Nurse On A Toot!

Ummm, yeah, it's a hentai alrighty ...

Copyright 2005 by Pat Powers

Private Psycho Nurse is one of those wonderfully misnamed hentai -- the protagonist isn't a nurse, she's a practicing psychologist, and her practice is public, not private, as she works for the school system diagnosing problem students and helping them solve their problems.

The only term that works in the title is "Psycho" if it's short for "psychologist" but still pretty misleading in that "psycho" normally stands for "psychotic" and she doesn't specialize in psychotics.

But she DOES travel from school to school in an attack helicopter equipped with fully armed 50-caliber cannons.

Why? We don't know why. Like the lack of anyone or any place called "Minerva" in "Fencer of Minerva" or the lack of any Cursed Panties or Torinaga (referenced in the video cover) in Dragon Pink, it's a mystery beyond human understanding.

And if it were American schools we were talking about, I could kinda SEE the attack helicopter as a suitable vehicle for school officials to travel in -- you gotta be able to outgun the student body, otherwise they won't respect you -- but this is the Japanese school system, a notably peaceful element of a culture noted for its nonviolence.

Here Gigi enters a male patients mind and discovers what's going on there. Surprise, surprise.

Anyway, Gigi the Private Psycho Nurse uses hypnosis and some sort of mental disicipline to actually get inside her patients' minds and experience their thoughts, dreams and fantasies firsthand.

Gigi is a very kind, caring and compassionate person -- not at all the sort you'd think would pick an attack helicopter as a means of transport -- ad when she hears that a troubled student at one of her school system's colleges has become a prostitute, she moves in to investigate.

The school administrator is having none of it, as his primary concerns are the school's profits, which are affected by its reputation, which are adversely affected by female students whoring it up.

Gigi and her horny young male assistant Tomi tail the female student in question for a time, and discover that she is indeed vending herself to guys, a middle-aged businessman type guy to be exact, even though her family is loaded and she has no economic reason to do so.

Yep, she's whorin' it up alrighty.

Gigi is of course intrigued, so she called Francine the whorestudent and sets up an appointment with her -- as one of her clients. Francine has no problem doing women and so next day she and Gigi hook up.

Gigi plans to turn their encounter into a therapy session but Francine has her plans licked.

Gigi's intent for the session was to turn it into psychoanalysis, but she and Francine get to kissing and rubbing on one another and then ... they're doing it, and before you know it, Gigi' on the verge of coming -- and Francine is trying to slash her breasts with a knife.

Gigi's huge knockers. We weren't kidding.

Francine, it turns out, hates large-breasted women, and Gigi has huge knockers, as we've mentioned.

Gigi is rescued by Tomi, who's been watching the whole deal, and Francine flees.

Gigi is stricken with guilt by the encounter. She's not worried because she almost got her enormous hooters psycho-slashed, she's upset because she lost control of herself and gave in to Francine's sexual expertise, instead of controlling and guiding the situation as a shrink should.

She's inconsolable (and horny Tomi would SO like to console her) so she's overjoyed when her mentor as a shrink, the elderly Scummi, comes to see her. He cheers her up, reminding her that she was his best student, and teaches her a new technique to mind meld with her students. The trick seemed to involving stretching one's legs wide apart, then bringing the knees back together, then closing them again. It didn't make much sense, but it was scenic.

The secret Omote Sando! Spreading the legs during psychotherapy. Much more effective when done in the nude, of course.

Suitably fortified, Gigi sets up a new sexual appointment with Francine. Francine's somewhat surprised that someone she has tried to mutilate would want seconds with her, but not so surprised that she doesn't show up for the appointment.

This time Gigi is able to maintain control of herself and use her hypnotic powers on Francine. Specifically, Gigi uses her large breasts to hypnotize Francine, by making them rotate like twin pinwheels.

The hypnotic breast twirl. Works for me!

This is the trick that Gigi uses on all her patients, and it's extremely effective -- and also quite scenic. In combination with the leg-spreading and done in the nude, it's EXTREMELY scenic, and soon has Francine under Gigi's control.

Here's where we get to see what makes Francine tick -- seems her mother died when she was a small child, and shortly thereafter her father grew distant and uncommunicative. Francine interpreted this as being that she was somehow responsible for her mother's death, and that her father was angry with her for causing her mother's death as well.

Her forays into prostitution were attempts to punish herself for causing her mother's death, and her hatred of large-breasted women stemmed back to anger at her mother for "deserting" her when she was young.

Since she's present in Francine's subconscious mind, Gigi is able to help Francine dredge up early memories of her parents, which show both her mother and father cherishing her and loving her as a small child. In fact, at one point her mother and father directly express their love for the child-woman Francine.

Gigi gives Fancine a chance to remember how happy her parents were with her as an infant. Heartwarming, yes. Hentai material? ... maybe not.

This direct experience of parental love allows Francine to rid herself of all the guilt and anger she'd been carrying along, making her whore herself up and slash Gigi and so forth.

Next time we see Francine, she's on a bridge over a stream. She tosses her cell phone into the water -- the one that her sex customers use to get in contact with her. Gigi approaches her and says, "Are you sure you want to do that? Those things are expensive."

"I won't be needing it any more," says Francine. Then she tells Gigi that she really likes large-breasted women, and they go their separate ways, as Gigi has implanted a post-hypnotic command that made Francine forget about her encounters with Gigi.

Gigi's cured, and after a brief encounter with the school administrator that involves shooting up his walls with 50-caliber machine guns, the first episode is over.

Erica's tentacles sprout from ... just where you'd expect tentacles to sprout, in a hentai.

The second episode is much like the first -- Gigi goes to visit a protege of hers who has been using her psychological techniques to put an end to a gang problem a school has been having. Unfortunately Erika, her protege, has overreacted to an earlier incident in which a student whom she was working with was killed by his gang, and she's using her mind control techniques to turn all of the school's students into mind-controlled zombies.

Gigi disapproves of this, and if you're thinking that this probably leads to gang zombie rape, you know your hentai.

When that Erika gives tongue, she REALLY gives tongue!

I won't give away the rest, for fear of giving away the whole hentai, but I won't be surprising anyone when I tell you that Gigi finds occasion to unlimber her amazing hypnotic hooters again, and that subconscious imagery and psychoanlysis will play a role in the resolution of the story.

I found PPN to be profoundly interesting and profoundly strange, because while the psychoanalysis elements were heartwarming, they also completely fucked up the sexual elements of the story.

To put it bluntly, heartwarming doesn't really go with erotic. By the time Francine's parents were through declaring their love for Francine, I was really feeling happy for Francine that she had gotten that whole mess straightened out in her mind, and I was not at all interested in seeing Francine have sex with anyone.

It wasn't that Francine's healthier relationship with her parents made her less attractive, it was just that there seemed to be a binary thing going on emotionally -- with my familial sympathies engaged, there was no sexual attraction, with sexual attraction engaged, there were no familial sympathies. Maybe it's part of that whole incest taboo thing that most folks seem to have.

Maybe that's why hentai like "Stepmother's Sin" which largely trade on incest themes, deal with dysfunctional families that aren't so prone to arouse sympathetic feelings.

The artwork and character design of this hentai are par for the course for hentai. The sex scenes aren't notably slowed down by them, if you can get past the whole heartwarmingness thing. There's a distinct lack of bondage to the hentai's erotic scenes as well -- there's a tentacle scene at the beginning, and that's about it.

So I can't recommend this hentai at all as an erotic flick, but it still has that quality of totally weird strangeness that appeals to me. Where else would you find a school psychologist who travels via attack helicopter (which she personally pilots), hypnotic hooters used as a psychiatric aid, and truly heartwarming psychological dramas mixed in with your hardcore porn? Only in a hentai.

Hell, only in THIS PARTICULAR hentai.

Now that's imaginative porn!