Pure Love

Heiro gets it on with a fortuneteller who could only tell the future if he rubs her breasts and then she rubs his lap with her damp crotch. Really! I've met fortunetellers like that myself, only they won't let you rub their breasts and you put their fee in their garters afterward. And they don't tell your fortune except that if you don't get your hand off their ass, they're gonna have the bouncer maul you. (And check out the flat blocks of color in the background and the weird modelling on the tabletop. Bad CGI at its worst.)

Copyright 2005 by Pat Powers

Pure Love? Pure crap would be more like it. I'm not the pickiest person in the world when it comes to the quality of animation. But when an anima sinks very nearly to Hanna Barbera mid-80s-level animation, it becomes almost unwatchable, much like everything Hanna Barbera ever turned out.

This is WAAAY below the standard of most hentai animation, so much so that the lack of quality is immediately noticeably. Most hentai are, understandably enough, created and drawn by artists who have a feel for the human figure. But these fugures are clumsily drawn by anime standards (though to be honest they are slickly done by Hanna Barbera standards -- no anime is quite that bad).

The hands are misshappen and vaguely lumpy, and the faces are all pretty much the same, male or female they're heart-shaped blobs with two huge eyes and couple of squiggles for nose and mouth.

The backgrounds tend to be flat blocks of color, though there is some evidence of computer modelling on some of the background shapes, which only serves to highlight how crudely drawn and badly modelled the figures in the forground are.

Even the background modelling is crude -- it looks like the kind of stuff you used to see when the Amiga was new and the 286 was the fast PC. In fact, I have read that Pure Love was created as an experiment in using CGI style animation to create hentai. I respect experiments generally -- too many people are willing to just do the same damn thing over and over again. But this experiment is clearly a failure.

Experimental backgrounds and modelling aside, the figures in the foreground are all subtly wrong -- the proportions of the limbs and torso, the way the knees and ankles are drawn, it's all subtly wrong. It's not absoltely crude, just ... off. And in most hentai the animation is definitely on.

The character movoement is badly handled, too. The figures move jerkily, as if there aren't enough frames per second to create an image of smooth motion, and there are lots of "lingering" still shots whose main purpose is clearly to conserve money by requiring less frames pers second overall in the film. It's bad, it's cheap, it's not well done.

The plot begins when the male protagonist, Hiero, falls asleep in the library. He's awakened by moaning and panting sounds. Peeking out from between the stacks, he spies two lesbian lovers having a midnight tryst in the library. This being an idiot comedy adventure, he somehow contrives to knock over the bookshelf between him and the lesbians, leaving him discovered while the lesbians make some angry inquiries about just what he's doing there.

He runs away, embarrassed. Seems Heiro is a deeply romantic young man who is very interested in finding a quest. He discovers a book in a library that tells of an epic battle that occurred in a nearby cave, and a mystery connected to it.

This has Heiro ready to charge off to solve the mystery, but much of the book is written in ancient Japanese kanji characters that he doesn't know so he doesn't know where to charge.

(Kanji, the written language of Japan, is pictographic and has thousands of characters, much like Chinese. The kanji characters have changed over the years, to a much greater extent than English characters have -- and English characters do change, just consider the "s" from Revolutionary times that looks like an italic "f" to modern eyes. So it's natural that Heiro might not be able to read an old form of kanji.)

His female friend Puni, who clearly loves Heiro though Heiro just doesn't see it, helps him read the old kanji and they discover some clues that make them decide the cave is near the palace gardens.

Puni's not at all hot for this game, but they go, and when they go they come across the purple haired lesbian from the library having sex with this self-important, ineffectual blond guy who pops up now and then for no discernible reason. The lesbian spots them spying on her, but doesn't do anything but give them a knowing leer. They slink off and shortly thereafter find the cave, where they fall in some water, necessitating that they build a fire, take off their clothes and share a blanket.

They start to get it on, but before they can, they're interrupted by footsteps. They think it's a monster, and Part I ends.

In Part 2 we discover that it's just another woman who wants to have sex with Hiero. As is typical of hentai in particular and male sex fantasies in general, every woman in the story is angling to get the male protagonist's cock in her mouth and/or in her pussy. (To be honest, it works for me!)

I really had trouble following part 2. Part 1 was no picnic, with characters who appeared and disappeared for no reason that I could detect, but Part 2 took all the existing mess and added more. It's a truly disjointed, haphazard excuse for a story. There's a magic stone set in an amulet that guides Heiro about on his adventures, though the key site in the story is clearly the cave that was discovered in Part 1. There are two sisters who are kinda dysfunctional because of something their father did way back when. One of the sisters looks kinda like the purple-haired lesbian from the first episode, and she also looks kinda like a wizard, or maybe it's a university professor who looks like the wizard, or maybe the university professor, the wizard and the sister all look alike (i.e., are the same person). I really couldn't tell.

I watched the fucking anime three times trying to follow it but I couldn't, and I'm pretty sure that means it's really hard to follow. Most other reviewers had the same complaint about the anime. It could be that it's like a really tough crossword puzzle or a complex logic problem that only really intelligent people can solve ... but the smart money is on it being cheese-brained crapola.

It's a shame because the characters are an intriguing bunch overall and could have benefitted from being in plot that the human mind could follow. Heiro, though he's the typical male hentai protagonist -- randy, bumbling and idiotic but more than read to boss the hentai heroines who clearly know more than him around -- is at least a nice guy who cares about them as well. There would still be the bad animation, though. Since Pure Love was an experiment, I'll call it a noble failure, but the emphasis here would definitely be on the "failure."